life as you call it…

Things are little bit tough the past days. Though I got to know how Sheng has been supportive of me, on what her testimonies are about me. Hearing those words from her relatives made me feel guilty about those days I have ignored her. Well, no matter how cliché-ic it may sound, it is true, why waste your time to someone who doesn’t care even if you’re gone.

 

I regret those days when I could’ve done things better, when I could’ve seized all those opportunities which came my way, when I chose to believe the wrong people, when I chose to be there for someone who won’t. In this world, I thought that friendship is everyone’s concern. But my idealism is slowly destroying me. It’s breaking my heart to find out that there indeed are fair weathered people. But what can I do, I can’t expect them to be as sincere.

 

Anyways, I decided to let it pass, that this shall be the last time to talk about such kind of people. I decided to wake up, to consider those people who have done a lot for me. Maybe it’s time that I believe what hearsays are, judge based on what I see and do not believe people who build themselves up so much. People with no drama or without, I don’t care, for as long as they are true.

in pain and grief.

Sheng passed away this morning. I was on my way to office when King texted me the bad news. and i never felt sooo lost in my life. i left without saying goodbye to my roomate. all i know is that i needed to talk to someone who feels the same way. i called up King, and Bang and ziaan. we were all crying on the phone. still cannot believe what happened.

i will always remeber how sheng taught me to become the best of what i can be in everything. her passion for serving and for caring for others inspired me to be the better me that i am now. she made me realize my potentials as an individual. she was the one who brought confidence in what im doing. i will always remember our prod works. i will always remember our musikamalayan days. on how we went about our misunderstandings. on how i cried like a kid when i was talking to her at the tambayan. on how she helped me with soooo many things. i will always remember on how you always understood why i cant attend our meetings. on how you supported my ideas and big events, those roses we put ribbons on. most importantly, i will always long for that unconditional love you gave us. every Sigma Alpha Nuan is sooo proud of what you have done for the sorority and for each of us as individuals. we’re full of fond memories about you sheng. you’ll always be in our hearts.

 

excess:

thanks to those people who came to makati med to donate blood and to those who prayed for her. we may not know all of you, and you may not know sheng at all but your willingness to help our dearest sis meant a lot for all of us. i soooo thank you. and your support will never be forgotten.

thanks to my ever supportive friends who went out of their way to see me or call me. to those who passed the blood drive campaign, i sooo thank you. we have at least extended sheng’s life.

and finally, to my ever supportive sorority sisters. i couldve never been this strong and cried my whole heart out if none of you were there. it is so nice to see a lot new faces believeing in the same principle. im so glad to have met my fellow alumnae. the unity is overwhelming and indeed moving. im just sooo proud to be a NUan. in this grief, i know i have you to lean on and to talk to, and reminisce the memories we have with sheng. thank you because we were there for each other in very rough time. i sooo love you all.